Ramble Redhead Blog

February 29th, 2008

Going to Germany

Posted by admin in germany

It is finally going to happen – I am flying to Germany to attend a sales meeting and it will be the first time going to Europe.  I am very excited and a bit nervous and not happy about the two stops from South Bend to Detroit then Detroit to Amsterdam then another short flight to Germany.  Often many of these meetings are long and boring and they don’t give us much free time to enjoy the location but we were promised a entire day to do what we want so it will be interesting to see how things go.  I checked the weather and it is supposed to be warmer than here so that will be a plus but then when I read about the free day – it looks like it could be really nasty so keep those fingers crossed!

February 25th, 2008

Scary Winter Drive

Posted by admin in Uncategorized

I had a boring Monday until I started my drive to the Chicago area – Joe told me that he heard about a winter advisory but according to the information I read online made it sound like it wasn’t going to be that bad. I had dinner with Joe and then began to make my two hour drive to Chicago. Before I could even reach the toll road exit it began to snow very hard and the snow was causing very poor road conditions. I had to drive very slowly and knew it was going to make this drive even longer. About half hour into the drive – Joe began to text message me on how bad the weather was back at home and hoped I was doing ok. He wrote that he was not happy with me for not leaving sooner but based on the lovely weather I was in at the moment and looking at the snow on the ground – it didn’t look like it mattered at all. I called him and we talked for a while about the weather and other bs that I won’t bore you with at this time. I was surprised by how the semi trucks would drive as if it was a sunny day and I was the old lady trying to barely see over the steering wheel trying to get to church. One even honked the horn at me to get over when I was trying to pass another truck and I was being safe and taking my time.

I was listening to podcasts as I made the rest of this journey and was beginning to get stressed out at how bad the roads were and wondered if it was ever going to stop. Of course with my luck – it didn’t get any better and once again I took my time and finally was near my hotel. As I drove up the side road to the hotel I began to look at the snow in a different way – instead of a way to kill people I began to look at its beauty and looked at how the lights reflected off the trees that were being covered by the white stuff. I remembered how Starbuck loves to play in the snow when we go on our walks and looked up at me with cocaine nose and jump and play before he made his deposit. I pulled over when I looked at a series of trees and I had to grab my Iphone and my camera and took pictures and you can click here to see them. It made me realize that life is too short to let the reality of my job get to me and how you can find beauty in something that normally causes grief and even death.

So I look at life in another way and try to remember the good things in life and pray that the snow will melt and the warmer weather will be here soon. As one woman told me how much she loved the snow and she glanced at me and said “Well at least I am not like you driving in this stuff – that has to suck!” I couldn’t agree with her more.

February 14th, 2008

My Dad

Posted by admin in dad, golf, steve martin

Since I do so much traveling for my job and driving all of those miles before podcasting came into my life I would listen to books on tape or cd and that would keep me entertained since I was so sick of the radio. Since then I have been addicted to podcasting and at anytime I have over 500 episodes on my ipod trying to get through them all. Recently I heard that Steve Martin has written a new book about his career doing stand up comedy and since I have always enjoyed his work and read many reviews talking about the book I thought I would give it a try. The next day I went to library to see the book on the shelf and was getting ready to check it out when I found it on cd. I put the first cd in and began and while I was listening Steve was telling about his growing up with his parents and how distant his father was to him as a child. In one segment he wrote about when he was eight and how his dad asked him to go into the backyard and throw the baseball back and forth and he commented that this was so foreign to him that he didn’t know how to react.

As I heard his words and it began to make me think about how things were with my own father and I had similar things happen to me. I was the youngest and always wanted to have that kind of relationship with my dad – at that point I didn’t care what it was – anything. My father was the oldest of ten children and his father was never there for them and his parents had divorced when he was almost finished with high school. He never had so I guess he didn’t know how to do it for me. Looking back at that time, I was the fourteen year old shy kid who simply wanted his father love and support and it only made me feel worse then I already did. I had feelings I was gay then and had some questions and felt I had no one to turn to and so felt very alone and afraid.

I can recall the one time my friends and I had started to play golf and I really enjoyed it – never was any good but for us that didn’t matter. We would do the best we could and enjoy being together. So one weekend, my mom and my sister was going to be gone and that left my dad and I together. I asked him if he would like to go and he said no but being the kid that I was I nagged and nagged and finally pissed him off enough that he agreed to go and I regretted every second of that day. He and I played with a distant silence and often he talked kindly to strangers than to his own son – the one that looked like him each day. The only time he laughed with me was on the 10th hole and we played at this course that had open fairways with very little trees and I can still remember the warm breeze as it hit my legs. We approached that hole and on the right side was a huge sign that they must use for tournaments. In the middle of this sign there was a very small window and I joked with my dad – wouldn’t that be funny if I hit the small window and my father chuckled for a second and then told me hit the ball and so I did. The ball curved to the right and next thing I knew I heard the glass breaking and my father laughing out loud and screaming “I will be damned” and “Will you look at that?” and at first I thought he was going to be mad but he didn’t and said we will let them know at the club house when we are done.

After that long day, I never asked my father to go again and there are times when I see movies, tv shows that show the dad being there for the kid I get jealous. It still haunts me now and then and felt I had to share with you. I can say things are better with my dad but there is so much more we need to go and hope we can do it before it is too late.

February 6th, 2008

Wintery Wednesday

Posted by admin in Uncategorized

You wouldn’t believe the weather that I had to drive in today – I was in the Grand Rapids area and I was a bit shocked when an account said “Did you hear that we are supposed to get hit with some snow?”  I replied with a big No and then I had lunch and then walked out to see it coming down like crazy.  The road crews were not able to keep up with the amount and later than night I watched the news and they said the area received 7″ to 14!” – it was incredible!  I was going to try to kill a pizza driver but they care about their employees and so I had to go pick up my own pizza – which was a healthy 6 cheese pizza from Papa Johns which is really really good especially in the thin crust!  It rocks but it also puts the weight on so I can’t eat pizza like I used to when I was in my 20’s.  Pizza used to be like what water is today!

February 4th, 2008

Foggy Night

Posted by admin in Uncategorized

I can’t describe the feelings I had this evening as I drove to Michigan tonight – a few days ago the northern Indiana area was hit with more snow and then the weekend it began to warm up and by Monday it was very very foggy.  I could barely see in front of my vehicle and I was have to say I was scared for my life and others who were driving.  I have been doing this job for the past five years and I have to say only one other night while driving in a blizzard did I feel worse.  Luckily I was able to make it to the hotel safe and sound and I can’t tell how happy I was to be there!

February 3rd, 2008

Super Sunday

Sure there is a little football game on tonight but the homo gang decided to keep up with tradition and watch a movie anyway. I am not a big fan of football but will tend to watch this event when it is on to be part of the millions who watch but also the commercials as well. Earlier in the day, I went to church and talked with a friend to see if he was coming over and he goes “Are you crazy it is the Super Bowl!” and I quickly replied “So what you are gay – we I mean you don’t care about this!” he replied “I know I don’t even know who is playing but I am going to watch!”

I spent the rest of day with Joe and we did some cleaning around the house and had a nice lunch together. The place we went to is this italian place and the only reason I bring this up is that my ex works there. I had been avoiding the place for the longest time for that reason and finally I said to Joe that I want to go and so we did. To be honest, I had some reservations about going and really didn’t want to see my ex there but Joe said so what if he is there – you like the place so let’s go. The meal was fantasic and it wasn’t until the end of the meal that I saw my ex near the hostess stand and he glanced over but never came to the table which I was glad. Joe said he had seen him many times look at us through out the meal so I was glad I didn’t see him.

I tried not to think about my ex but there are times he comes up and I can’t help but get filled with a mix of feelings as to how great it was in the beginning to the horrific end to a 13 year relationship. Trust me I have no feelings left for him and have no desire to want to be with him again but I can’t help to think about how much changed in our lives since that time.

I am so lucky to have Joe in my life and he constantly reminds me daily of how wonderful he is and such a joy to my life. I still look into his beautiful eyes and see how handsome he is and how much I love him. I am touched as how understanding he is when it comes to my job and that I am gone each week with my job and we spend as much time as we can on the weekend.

So now to the movie – tonight’s feature is called The Dreamers and I have to say that it is not good at all. The description of the movie on IMDB is: The tumultuous political landscape of Paris in 1968 serves as the backdrop for a tale about three young cineastes who are drawn together through their passion for film. Matthew, an American exchange student, pursuing his education abroad in Paris, becomes friends with a French brother and sister duo, named Theo and Isabelle, who share a common love of the cinema. While the May 1968 Paris student riots–which eventually shut down most of the French government–are happening around them, the three friends develop a relationship unlike anything Matthew has ever experienced, or will ever encounter again.

What starts as a nice movie and (as a movie nut as well) I thought it was briilliant how they would take the clips from the movie and then they would be recreated for the film. Then the movie slowly turns into creepy and has many EWWWWW moments and I am not even going to go into detail here. Trust me you don’t want to know. I thought based on the description of the movie it has some homosexual aspect to it but it really doesn’t at all. If you are a fan of male frontal nudity then you will get to see the main character showing his business and very nice I might add :)

What bothered me most about this movie is how it ended so quickly and left you hanging and felt like I had been cheated.

So if you are really bored and having trouble sleeping then this is your flick.

After the homo gang left I took the time to watch the game and I have to say I thought it was incredible to watch. Both quarterbacks were incredible and was so glad I watch the game. Regarding the commercials I thought the one for Fed Ex was the best!