Ramble Redhead Blog

The day was filled with driving all over Chicago and then I was able to make the scenic drive back home to my Joseph and my two pets that help drive me crazy!  I arrived home and Joe had dinner in the oven and so we had  a nice quiet night watching tv and movies and cuddling on the couch.  I miss him so much when I am gone and I am grateful for when he and I together.  I am so glad that he is willing to accept that I have to leave for work and we make it work.  Granted we have our times when we drive each other insane but we make it work and do the best we can.

As I am writing this it is late Thursday night and I returned from having dinner with Omar from The Other O podcast and Lauren a listener of many podcasts.  They are now both living in Chicago and I was in town for work and so it was great being able to have dinner with them.  We went to a veggietarian place and it was so so in my book.  We all had a great time chatting about a variety of issues and complaining about the cold.

They are truly wonderful people and they helped make a night go well and I didn’t have to spend it dining alone.

Today was interesting for many reasons - first of all I had an appointment this morning that I thought was going to be a training day and not thinking I would make a sale at all and I walked out with a $1,000 sale so I was happy happy!!

I made some other calls and made a few more sales and again it perked me up because normally December is a horrible month for me and I usually never make my sales goal but this time I really think it is going to happen!

Later in the day I was able to talk with Joe, friend Eddie and my sister and each call was very fun in it’s own way.  It helped to put things that I have been thinking about to rest and helped me realize that things are not that bad.

I was supposed to do an interview tonight but it fell through and normally that would get to me to but again I just went oh well - we will try again another time.

The last call of the night was with a friend who has been having a tough time lately and so I did my best to cheer him up and I was all bubbly and giddy and he said wow you are sure in a good mood!  Have you been drinking and I said noooooooooooo just Dr Pepper!

I posted a new show tonight and thought it was funny and hopefully people will enjoy it.

Ok night all.

This week has been bitterly cold and I made my way to Chicago today. It was weird going during the day versus at night and after hearing about a nasty car accident last night - it made me very happy that I waited.  A young man was trying to get home and he hit an icy patch on the road and slid into a tree and they are saying that he might not make it and that is so sad.

It is amazing how quick a life can end and how it puts thing in perspective.  I know I am very lucky to have the job, the house, the partner, my family and dear friends who are in my life.  I guess that everyone has moments where it feels like nothing is going the way you want.  We just have to keep going and doing the best we can and go from there.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Today I have been reading other blogs and they are challenging themselves to write something everyday for thirty days.  I decided to give it a shot as well today.  Today happens to be World AIDS day to remember all of those who have died from AIDS and who are dealing with HIV.

I know many people in my life who are HIV or have known someone who died from AIDS. It has affected so many people in this world that my words can’t compare.  Entertainment Weekly used to do a cover with the pictures of all of those in the entertainment industry who died from AIDS to show its impact but over time they have stop which truly sadden me.  I know the topic is a sad one but by not doing it - it doesn’t show people the truth about this horrible disease.

Tonight I am going to an event with Joe to see a play called Holding the Man which is a story about a couple who had been together for 15 years and sadly both died from AIDS.  It is only the second time this play has been performed in the USA and so I am happy to see it performed in my town.

It with plays like this and other podcasts like mine that help to educate people and hope that those listening will take it to heart and help educate the people in their lives to protect themselves but also that we can help not only eliminate this horrible disease with education and prevention.

Please do your part - donate and educate!

Hugs

RR

I left today to go to a sales meeting in Niagara Falls and it started out ok - made it to the airport with no issues - easily checked in and had a quick lunch and made my way to my gate at 130pm to Detroit then to Buffalo, NY. 

The weird thing was that as I had walked into the airport - there was a sign about missles and how they can hit planes and I was like wow what a happy thought.  Once I made it through security I sit down and wait for the flight to be called and I look up at the monitors to see they ran a commercial for a 9-11 commerative bill or coin and I am thinking what are the odds?

The first flight was quick and easy but then the flight from Detroit to Buffalo was another story.  I had only 15 minutes to get from the C gate to the A gate and so I had my exercise of the day and I was sweating like a pig and thought for sure that it would be filled and I would have no room for my stuff.  I walked right up to the line and handed my boarding pass and the lady said hello and took my ticket and I walked on seeing the line down the hallway and was bummed but when I made it to the plane it was nearly empty.  I made it to my seat and was trying to cool off as the others boarded.  

We were supposed to take off at 330pm but there was some problem with a part overheating and of course that always sounds good right?  We had started to leave the gate and I thought we would have to go back and in order to change the part of have us changed planes.  It took forever so I was listening to podcast and laughing my ass off as I listened to Wes from the Live it Up podcast - he was so funny.  Finally they said we were leaving. 

Once we made it Buffalo, the manager of the Canadian group came to pick us up and then we were dropped off at this bar to wait for the other guy who had a delay on his flight so we arrived at 4 something and his flight wasnt arriving til 7 so waiting was so much fun.  Finally we were able to pick him up and made the 25 minute drive to the hotel and it took forever!!! We reached the border and it was like a parking lot and it took at least an hour to get thru - the guy at the border just looked briefly at the passports and that was it then about 10 minutes later I had to pee and thought oh no problem it will be just a few minutes then I hear the manager go I don’t how to get there and I am like what?  I tried not to think about it but then it got worse and worse and I was in pain and of course he hit every pot hole on the road and that really helped.  I am in the van with 8 guys and I finally asked him how much farther do we have to go and he says about 5 minutes and I said can you please stop so I can go and he said we are almost there and then finally we saw the hotel and I didnt even get my bags - just ran in and found the bathroom - I think if he had been one minute later I would have pissed my pants and the funny thing when I was finally in the bathroom for a second I couldnt even go then finally the niagara falls of my bladder kicked in.  We went to this italian place for dinner and it is almost midnight and I hope I can get to sleep.

little voices keep talking to me

telling my heart the way it should be

wanting every thing to be ok

never mind what my mind might say

—-

you can find love

you can hold it so close

but your eyes wont see

when it matters the most

—

little voices keep calling out

fill your mind with doubt

but when they go away

listen to what your heart might say

—

do you love him

does he make you complete

does he make your mind wonder

then nothing can be beat

but those little voices

keep bringing up the past

wondering if this love

will finally last

When I was a kid and realized I was gay

I was scared and filled with fear

would I ever find love?

even when I didn’t love myself

Maybe tomorrow

——

I was taunted and teased in junior high and high school

three people stood out to make my life hell

would it ever end?

Maybe tomorrow

——–

I met my first love who made me whole

he told me I was beauiftul

will I believe those words?

Maybe tomorrow

——–

I loved him with all of my heart

and would tell him when I could

would it last for a lifetime?

Maybe tomorow

—-

His mother didn’t like me at first

but I was determine to win her over

would it work?

Maybe tomorrow

—-

He would hold me and tell it would be ok

when the world seemed to close around me

would he still love me

Maybe tomorrow

—

Years went by and I felt lost in the silence

as we both said goodbye to his mom

would this pain ever stop?

Maybe tomorrow

—-

Our love ended after thirteen years

longer than many others

will I ever find love again?

Maybe tomorrow

—

18 months went by and I was alone

then I met my Joe in that bar

will he ask me out for a date?

Maybe tomorrow

—-

I love him with all of my heart

and one day soon I want to marry him

show him and the world he is the one I cherish

Maybe tomorrow

light my candle

sit by my side

let’s talk for a moment

no reason to hide

—-

sure we all have our demons

and how we deal with them

we have to let them go

or they will settle in

just let them go

just let them go

I will listen to you

as you listen to me

—-

that is what friends are for

to help to work it out

to be there for each other

there is never a doubt

—-

it is getting late

sadly you have to go

but before you do

something for you to know

—-

so blow out the candle

give me a hug goodbye

I will always be here for you

no matter how or why